by Karen Turnquist
Recently, a longtime friend went through a business ownership breakup. At the beginning, with solid sales and plenty of money in the bank, the partnership worked.
But when the economy softened and revenues dried up, the owners’ differences began to cause significant rifts, damaging their relationships and the business.
A business friend of one of the partners strongly advised a dissolution or sale, but the partner deflected the advice. It seemed drastic, daunting and difficult to even broach the subject with the other partners.
But over the next three years, the business continued to struggle and the partnership grew even more troubled. The same friend enlisted the help of two other business acquaintances and the trio implored the partner to buy out his partners.
This time the advice stuck and the partnership was eventually dissolved. Today, with the disputes in the rear-view mirror, the business is thriving and everyone is much happier.
Knee-jerk decision
I think we’re all prone to ignoring good advice—even when it comes to things much less significant than the dissolution of a business partnership.
A few years ago when I mentioned some knee pain to my trainer, she suggested that I get a foam roller to help break up the fascia on my IT band.
Up until then, I thought fascia was just some boards on my house. But I took her advice and purchased a foam roller on Amazon.
I soon discovered that the hard blue cylinder that arrived a few days later shared more in common with medieval torture devices than it did with “foam.” It hurt so much that I quickly banished it to the corner of the room where it did a bang-up job gathering dust.
Why didn’t I just listen the first time?
Two years later, however, an orthopedic surgeon suggested a knee replacement as a solution to the pain in my knee, which he thought was related to my IT band.
“Will it take care of my pain?” I asked him.
“Maybe,” he said.
MAYBE?!
When I returned home, there was that blue foam roller propped up in the corner. I think we both knew this day would eventually come.
I decided to give it another try.
I lowered my full weight onto the roller and rolled back and forth on it from my hip to my knee. O-U-C-H!
But I stuck with it. And, later that very night as I strolled through the living room, I realized something: No pain!
“Seriously?” I wondered out loud. Why didn’t I just listen the first time?
Why we miss good advice
How many times have you thought or heard someone say, “I wish I would’ve listened.”
So why do we sometimes have to hear good advice more than once before we take it?
I think the answer is universal:
- Distraction. We aren’t really listening. Most of the time we’ve already mentally moved on to the next thing. So, instead of taking root, the good advice just floats away.
- Avoidance. Good advice often involves pain in the present. Foam rolling and troubled partnerships hurt right now, while surgery and dissolution are ideas off in the future. In either case, it’s easy to kick the can down the road.
- Bias. We’ve already formed an opinion. Maybe we’re just looking for someone to tell us we’re right. People watched me limp around and told me they wish they hadn’t waited so long for their own knee replacement. “Don’t make the same mistake,” they cautioned. I started researching knee replacements, surgeons, devices, robotics. By the time I saw a surgeon, surgery seemed like a foregone conclusion.
- ‘Go it alone’ mentality. This is especially true for us entrepreneurs. We’re so used to seeing a problem, identifying a solution and getting it done that it doesn’t occur to us there might be a better solution or answer. If I’m really honest with myself—and with you—I know I sometimes don’t ask for advice because I don’t think I need any. (I’m sure that’s a shocker.) Plus I don’t want to have to consider what I’m being told and reevaluate…yadda, yadda, yadda. I just want to get it done. But when I tamp down my inner control freak and really listen, I nearly always end up with better options and better outcomes. [Thanks to all of you for your patience and for participating in the Karen Turnquist self-improvement plan 😉]
How to heed advice
But how do we know when we need to seek out and/or listen to good advice?
For me, I find it’s when I’ve been struggling with a decision or circumstance for too long, when I find myself complaining about the same situation more than once, or when I’m faced with circumstances I haven’t seen before.
So when we finally admit to ourselves we need some advice, how do we heed good advice when offered?
- Pay attention. If you hear the same advice more than once (including the uninvited kind) you probably need to follow up or check it out.
- Really listen. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next. And, remember, listening is not the same as agreeing.
- Ask questions. I would’ve benefitted from asking what fascia is. And, for that matter, what an IT band and foam roller are.
- Ask for opinions. Ask someone you consider a trusted advisor what they would do if they were you. The bigger the problem the more important this kind of feedback is. Ideally, pull together a group to bounce ideas off each other.
- Seek experience. Find people who’ve been where you are and ask what they learned, as well as what they would do differently if they had to do it over again.
As the CEO and founder of Sage Business Credit, Karen Turnquist helps entrepreneurs build value in their businesses. She’s facilitated more than $2 billion in accounts-receivable financing for emerging businesses and believes there’s no greater reward than seeing fellow entrepreneurs succeed.